Facebook Ultimatums and You!

Have you ever been the victim of a facebook ultimatum?  Yes.  You have.  Trust me.  A facebook ultimatum is the lowest form of chain mail and they are generally about America/American military, cancer, animal abuse/child abuse or Jesus and they give you two choices; agree with me or you’re a bad person.  They’re generally just a big ego stroke with an additional passive-aggressive implication, accusation or fuck-you thrown in for good measure.

A facebook ultimatum will unfailingly include “if you’re a real American,” or “most people won’t re-post this because they don’t care” or “I already have a pretty good idea of who will and who won’t re-post this”.  It’s nothing short of shameless.  Some make promises they can’t keep.  “Every time this is re-posted, facebook will donate-”  No they wont.

As I’m sure you are gathering by my tone, I don’t care much for such ultimatums.  Persons in my friends list who post such ultimatums inevitably end up hidden from my news feed, as I fail to find any pleasure in being guilted into public displays of patriotism, altruism or religious pandering.

What does the very first person at the very beginning of a facebook ultimatum gain by posting such rhetoric?  Are they stroking their egos?  Are they so insecure that they feel the need to announce to their friends and families that they are good, caring, patriotic, moral people?  Perhaps they have reason to believe that someone in their friends list supports death by cancer and a facebook ultimatum is nothing more than a clever ruse to catch them in their cancer loving ways?

What is the purpose of re-posting a facebook ultimatum?  Well, all of the previously mentioned reasons could certainly come into play but I suspect that for most of us there is another, more significant factor…  Guilt (though I don’t discount gullibility).  If I don’t re-post this highly inaccurate load of drivel, everyone will think I support terrorism.  Oh no!!  You’re on the spot and everybody is watching to see if you’re a real American!  What’s it going to be?  We see this type of propaganda in politics all the time.  Remember George W. Bush’s bullshit?  If you don’t support going into and bombing the shit out of a country for no reason at all, then you hate the troops.  Anyway.  Moving on…

The bottom line is; it’s rude to put people on the spot in a public forum and try to guilt them into supporting your cause or agreeing with you.  And so I will leave you with three points that I would like to make about facebook ultimatums:

1) If you genuinely suspect that someone in your friends list supports terrorism, promotes death by cancer, encourages child or animal abuse, why are they in your friends list?  Shouldn’t we just assume that our “friends” agree with us that recreational whale torture is bad?  I assume that nobody in my friends list tortures whales.  If I had cause to believe otherwise they would be deleted post haste.

2) If you want to support a cause, good!  …great!  Post a link to the cause and say something positive about how you love and/or support the cause.  But leave out the implications, assumptions and accusations.  It’s just rude.

3) Facebook IS NOT donating money to these causes.  They’re just not.  Do the research.


One Response to “Facebook Ultimatums and You!”

  1. IF you love America, guns, god, boats brews and buds you will re-post this…if you don’t lightning will strike a truckload of BABIES and cause nuclear war on the troops. Just sayin.

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